Face Front! Friday! Transcending Toxicity

This week, I introduced you to three more archetypes of mentors to avoid: Malignant Mentors. Combine these with the Missing Mentors and Mismatched Mentors I’ve written about in the past, and it becomes clear that managing mentor-mentee relationships requires care, vigilance, and self-awareness. This applies to both sides of the relationship.

Be wary of mentors like Harry the Hoarder, who prioritize their own advancement at the expense of their proteges. They hoard opportunities to protect their position, stunting the growth of those they’re supposed to support.

Then, there’s Lori the Loyalist. Though seemingly helpful, remember that Lori’s primary loyalty is to the company—not you. This can lead to betrayal and damage to your career when Lori is concerned about putting company interests first.

Finally, Noel the Controller exemplifies the worst-case scenario, abusing their authority to degrade, dominate, and manipulate. Mentees in these situations often feel trapped and unsupported.

So what can you do? It’s not easy, but stepping out of your comfort zone is necessary to manage these toxic relationships. Setting boundaries, seeking advice from multiple sources, and maintaining control over your own career path are key to avoiding becoming collateral damage. Sometimes you are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. You might have to leave.

Keep in mind that these mentors may not be purely malicious. Well, Noel might be. But really, in all of these cases the toxic behavior may reflect personal insecurities, career pressures, or skewed loyalty. Harry may hoard opportunities out of fear of losing control; Lori may believe aligning with the company’s interests is the only path forward; Noel’s need for control might stem from past experiences or fear of powerlessness.

Recognizing these motivations can help you navigate these tricky dynamics with more empathy and strategic thinking, making it easier to decide when to engage, when to set boundaries, and when to walk away.

What do you think?

See you Monday!

#Mentoring #WorkplaceDynamics #CareerAdvice #Leadership #Badmentor