From Me to You (and to Me, too): Mismatched Mentoring

ByDavid

It’s easy to give advice. I think I find it easy to take advice too.

But for me to heed the words that I say to others? Not so easy.

So this one is for both of us.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been sharing thoughts about my past mentors. Many are amazing people who had a positive impact on my life. And then there are the other ones. The ones I had to overcome, glide around, or endure until I could build an exit ramp and escape their influence.

This week I am writing about some people like this, who might be designated or see themselves as mentors. But these are the mismatched mentors, who might be more harmful to your career than the missing mentors I wrote about earlier this month, often due to your own lack of experience, or their blind spots, biases, or misaligned backgrounds. 

Consider Wes the Well-Intentioned. Have you ever been told to “keep your head down” in your work environment? This is the kind of well-meaning warning we hear all the time. Well, why? So nobody knows I’m there? So I can’t take a part in strengthening my team? Yes, there is wisdom in not inserting yourself into volatile situations, as long as you are not sacrificing your ability to have ideas, to have an opinion, and to advocate for yourself.

This mismatch can take other forms too, such as when Wes the Well-Intentioned is an expert in one area (theirs) but not as much in others (yours). The advice shared by your mentor might have been appropriate back when they were just starting out, but is outdated now. Or it might fit their style without taking into account your own unique superpowers.

Mentors like Wes the Well-Intentioned might mean well but still provide misguided advice that can harm or slow your development. Keep your wits about you. Make sure those around you know that you are there, and that you are contributing.

You’ll be glad you did.

(And so will I!)

Come back tomorrow for more!

(ALSO! My friend Rob and I are wrapping up our first season (30 issues!) of our podcast for you to enjoy. Find “Marketing vs Sales” on your favorite podcast platform. Pull up a seat and join us, and let us know what you think!)