Bad Mentoring Models: Tracy the Transactor

Once again, this week I am writing about some people that you might have to deal with at work, folks who might be designated or see themselves as mentors but who you should do your best to avoid or overcome in order to keep your hands on the wheel of your career. This week I’m focusing on another category called the Mismatched Mentors.

I had a mentor not long ago and she and I got along quite well. I found her to be inspiring and fun to work with, and she seemed to take a personal interest in me. I can take much of the responsibility for not pursuing a deeper professional relationship with Tracy, or for not asking more questions. One reason for this is that Tracy had a habit of concluding our conversations by asking me, “Do you have any idea how much I charge for this kind of advice?” No, I do not. Is that a rhetorical question or am I supposed to answer? Probably rhetorical, just in case I didn’t express how much I valued Tracy’s ideas. 

Mentoring relationships should not have any suggestion of payment. There are reasons mentors do what they do, which includes personal satisfaction, the desire to give back, hope of creating networking opportunities, wanting to stay engaged, and the intention of further developing their own career. Mentors might even receive some sort of tangible reward for their efforts, perhaps as part of their service to their organization.

On the other hand, there are people who get paid to coach, to teach, and to train, and their contributions to your career have a great deal of overlap with what your mentor can offer you. But you don’t pay a mentor. So stop bringing that up, Tracy. It suggests you view mentoring as a transaction, an exchange. It also tells me you are lacking genuine care for my development. 

Have you had to deal with Tracy the Transactor or somebody like that, meant to mentor but unable to meet your needs?

What do you think?

Come back tomorrow and I’ll share some ideas about how to deal with your mismatched mentors.

#mentoring #badmentors